We don't flap, flinch, or stand there gawking when action is required. And I'm bossy so that helps too. I tend to think quickly and I figured out a long time ago that people respond if you talk fast and with authority. So if you find yourself in a crisis, I'm the kind of person you want running up on the scene evaluating the situation, barking orders and springing to action.
Unless.
So there I was fresh from town where I had lunch with my pal, L. last week. I was ambling along out to close the gate, happy as could be. Until....I heard before I saw our inside-only cat, Nicholas. Outside. In the yard. Yowling and coming right to me.
I completely freaked out.
Not "oh golly would you look at that" or "wow how'd that happen"....I mean to tell you I completely became unglued and started screaming hysterically. And I did absolutely everything wrong for that situation. Not only was I screaming hysterically but I started running at him. A cat. I can tell you this for a fact, no cat will ever come to anyone who is screaming at them. Least of all if they are screaming and running right at them.
Especially if there are three huge dogs and a puppy also running right at them. Nicholas took off like a shot. It was total chaos. There was running and a lot more screaming. And then even more running and screaming while carrying a puppy. It was so bad that Dog#1 practically had to shake me by the shoulders and slap me to get me to pull myself together.
At one point I actually ran into the house and started screaming for Nicholas just in case there happened to be another distinctively marked 18 pound Maine coon x raccoon in the county - and our Nicholas was actually in the house. He wasn't and that was no impostor outside. I ran, screaming, back outside. This time without the puppy.
Just to add a little color to this discussion, the inside cats never go outside. Ever. There are a lot of reasons for this - coyotes, disease, that mean gander. So the last time any of the inside cats were actually outside was the second before I scooped them up and saved them from a life of vagrancy. In fact, I had just smirkily told our Good Vet that our inside cats never EVER go outside. I was very proud of myself. Until.. you know.. there was Nicholas out in the yard.
Meanwhile, outside, the hens had started to gather to watch the fracas. After a couple laps around the garage Nicholas darted under the big sliding door. I locked down all the doors and ran into the garage just in time to see the barncats, Shine and Bobbi, corner him.
Nicholas dove for cover behind the haybales and promptly got wedged in between the hay and the wall. Stuck. Like a cork. A screaming, growling, hissing hell bent on killing someone or something cork...that is, if he could have gotten free. But he was stuck.
All kidding aside, Nicholas is pretty big. And fiesty. I've had a cat bite before and I know they can be nasty business. So I really wasn't looking forward to reaching into the blender that was a huge hysterical cat wedged in a dark and scary place.
Having regained some command of my facilities I turned to reason and decided to ratchet it down a few clicks. I started talking to the enormous frightened cat in my singsong voice. He stopped yowling when I sang "...and I'll give you all the tuna in the world if you just calm down...." That got his attention.
I reached in and pulled the great cat free. And ran with him directly into the house.
Of course I did the obvious "next step" which was to call up The Big Man at work and scream at him hysterically. Then hang up. We all felt much better after that. Being a brave man he called back in about an hour to make sure everyone was OK. We were.
After the promised tuna I carefully checked Nicholas all over for bites or scratches. In truth, he probably was just out laying in the sun in the garden. He was fine but I kept him in the bedroom for a while just to make sure.
However once Nicholas figured out that a dramatic performance leads to more tuna he really worked it. Several cans of "the finest white albacore money can buy" later he stretched out his great frame and went to sleep. That's the way Nicholas.... sleep there on the comfy bed and dream no more of the Whole Wide World. All the activity made for a hard day indeed. The sixth of such.
Nicholas's Hard Day #1
Nicholas's Hard Day #2
Nicholas's Hard Day #3
Nicholas's Hard Day #4
Nicholas's Hard Day #5
Happy Monday everyone! Now, who can top that hard day?
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